The Awesome Diary of the Awesome Guy
by Shh - my pen name is pen name
Summary: "... So, I did the manly thing to do; took a bubble bath with the action figures and Sweden." It's national bonnet day, Austria put to much butter on the popcorn and was arrested, and Germany's dogs stole his Glee DVD's. Yeah, I'm just that awesome.


Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia; It was obviously invented by South Korea.

I love you Justine, No offense intended. For fun let's pretend we can dedicate these to people: I chose you Brianna!

* * *

"RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I AM A DRAGON; RAWRRRRRRRRRRR!"

_Yo bitch, it's Prussia and today was almost as awesome as my elbow! And since I'm so awesome, I'm going to tell you everything that happened to me today._

_First I woke up:_

"HAND OVER THE BOOKS, EVIL SCIENTIST DOGS!" As usual this Germany-specimen woke me up. So I went downstairs to find him in his usual attire; paper bag with a 'G' drawn on the pack and a pair of underwear on his head. It was a third degree offense: The Dogs held hostage his Glee DVD's and Twilight Saga - oh shit!

"Give me back my princesses, else I'll... BECOME BOB THE BUILDERS WIFE!"

"NO! HE'LL TAKE AWAY ME LUCKY CHARMS!" Hey, it's that eyebrow guy! I thought he was gonna let that hooker Justine wax 'em?

I skipped to the kitchen and opened the fridge. Two Italians and a Spanish guy fell out.

"Prussia - we gonna go bonnet shoppin' later, right?"

"OMG BONNET BUYING! YAY!" Tomorrow is annual bonnet shopping day, you know; gotta celebrate yo' holidays!

"Yurp."

"Oh my walruses, Austria got arrested again!"

"Oh no, for what!" North Italy cried in disdain!

"Eating too much butter on the popcorn!"

"Oh, shit!" I the awesome Prussia will go be awesome and do the awesome thing; save the bitch.

_Then I went to Russia's house; Estonia and I were going to play World of War Craft, but he ditched me for a Rhianna concert._

Since Estonia wasn't there, I decided to play fluffy-bunny with Latvia and Sealand. Fluffy-bunny is when you shove as many marshmallow's into your mouth as you can, while still be able to say 'fluffy-bunny'. Latvia fit five, I did twenty-two and Sealand did 6875. Kid's gotta stop hanging out with France. Since Latvia had passed out eating the marshmallows, me and Sealand handcuffed him a toilet lid, wearing Ukraine's bra. I swear you could fit the Italy's in those cups!

_Then I went to Sweden's house:  
_

Sweden is my homedawg, cause that boys got swagger. A little known fact: Sweden has every rare action figure known to man. I mean:

Planet of the apes AHI moc, AHI Tonto MIB, Martian Chronicles 8" Larimi, Lincoln international monsters , Mattel Big Jim Tarzan with panther MOC RARE, Big Jim SKY Diver (others) Big Josh All Terrain Vehicle with Driver, Dracula Mego rare flat hair version (black hair), Frankenstein Mego rare flat headversion (black hair), Mego Space 1999 Mysterious Alien MOC, Removable Mask Robin loose original, Tomland Famous Monsters of Legend Morlock, Tomland Dral ($1000), Tong Apeman and on!

Naturally, we did what any grown man of awesomeness would do: Take a bubble bath with the dolls.

"MWUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!" I am awesome.

"M''h'h'h'h'h'a'a'a'a'a!" Oh yea, Sweden was speaking mumble - that bitch is a poet!

"We're so AWESOME we get to smell like chicks." Sweden had gotten some boss deal at Bath and Body Works, cherry blossom midnight romance body wash.

Sweden sent his Invader Zim figure at me, but I awesomely deflected the hit with my Edward Cullen Barbie, but then he got Aro who threw a Snooki figure at me. I awesomely grabbed an Harry Potter figurine and threw it at his Avatar the last Airbendor, but he pulled a Frodo doll out of the air!

"O' no y'u d'dn't!" Sweden shrieked, using his Frodo doll to knock down Dora The Explorer (a generous gift from Spain) so I grabbed a tickle me Elmo and bashed in his head rapidly until he died. The awesomely red water was full of his blood and since I'm to awesome to get aids I jumped out and used a Saphira to dump a bunch of Jaws sharks in the water; Sweden was promptly eaten by the inanimate plastic. Because:

RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I AM A DRAGON; RAWRRRRRRRR!" An awesome one.

_End Day one._

_Oops..._

_I'll save that popcorn-law-violator, Austria later._

_

* * *

Woo-ho for the crack... No insult meant to anyone~  
_


End file.
